A Must Read! Saratoga Springs Resident Pat Cannon with a Fun take on a Bear Visiting Various Neighborhoods in Saratoga Springs!

 

 

Well there’s definitely a bear cruising around town. It’s been spotted near the race track apparently arriving early for the Belmont Stakes but balked at the $75 admission price. He ended up on a bird feeder on Jackson Street where the food was free. (That part is true. I think you can see where this is going)

Looking for a little professional courtesy he walked into Bears Cup bakery on Broadway. Upon seeing the long line he walked out muttering, “This place is more popular than Yogi.”

Proceeding on to Caroline Street he walked into a bar and ordered a gin and tonic. The bartender asked him what kind of gin. Being a bear and all he had to think about it. Finally the bartender asked “Why the long pause?” Looking down the bear says “Got them from my father’s side”. (This is going to get worse, buckle up.)

He worked his way over to the now upscale Phila Street where he was charged $18 for a glass of wine. Handing over the drink the bartender says “We don’t get a lot of bears in here”. The bear says ”I’m not surprised at these prices.”

Thinking he might need legal counsel he sought the advice of an attorney at a firm on Broadway, who refused to take the case, suggesting he represent himself. “Go to Law School” the attorney advised. “Some day you could be a Bearrister.” (oh man)

Working his way over to iRun Local on Broadway he noticed a man buying new sneakers.  The man told the salesman he heard there was a bear in town and he might need to run. “You’re not outrunning a bear even with these nice sneakers” the salesman said. “I walk with my neighbor”, the man explained. “I just need to outrun him.”

Ok, mercifully, that’s enough but there really is a bear around, apparently a juvenile. Let’s give the cub a break, keeping our distance, no feeding, taking down the bird feeder, that sort of thing. Hopefully he strolls out of town and into the woods where there are other bears around and certainly fewer dad jokes.

Patrick Cannon is a retired lawyer and lives in Saratoga Springs. While attempting to take down his bird feeder it nearly collapsed so he concluded that not replenishing would satisfy his current civic duty.